343: “It’s not me Twitter, it’s you.”

 

Social media is driving me crazy. Specifically, Twitter. I feel compelled to check it every two minutes to see what’s going on. And lately, I find myself in a perpetual state of fear and outrage.

Super.

To be fair, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to do a self-imposed Twittervention. From time to time, I find myself using social media, specifically scroll therapy, to distract me from something I need to deal with. All because a couple times I scrolled onto something that actually made me feel better.

Basically for every hundred times I check Twitter and it freaks me out, there is one time it makes me feel better (usually courtesy of Lin Manuel-Miranda or my dear friend who sends me Parks and Rec Memes♥).

Not worth it.

Most of the time scrolling through tweets makes me feel horrible. During recovery, weight-loss or diet talk was an immediate and acute trigger. After I Recovered, I still found diet and weight loss tweets frustrating and triggering but not like I did when I was struggling accept my body. The divisive election, however, sent my anxiety into over drive.  What a year to be fully Recovered and feeling all the feelings. Recovered under fire.

Over the last year, I went through phases where I’d delete Twitter from my phone (and then put it back, delete, then put it back, and so on). Steve and I even set up rules at the house. No checking our phones from 5 pm to 7pm. Two hours. Seriously, how hard can that be.

Ummmm….

Guess who got busted checking her phone?

Yeah. 🙂

I struggle because I want to stay informed and stay active. But I also want to stay sane.

So for purposes of my sanity, Twitter and I are on a break. It’s not like I can’t access news anywhere else to stay informed. The fear is real. But if I’m going to be of any use, I need balance.

 

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